I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I don't want my vagina anymore.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
