I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
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