I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
