you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
