Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I am available for nakedness
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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