Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Your cock deserves a montage
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
