My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
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He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
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I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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