So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
