Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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