He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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