Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
