you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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