I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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