I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
