I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Someone stole a lamp last night.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
