I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
