i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Vodka?
Forever.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
