when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
