I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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