Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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