Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize