I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
