that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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