yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
