Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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