my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
