He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
