She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
