my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
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she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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