Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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