if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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