he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
