College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize