i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
