32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
