even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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