Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
