ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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