The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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