She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
