update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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