why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
