friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize