Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
even my farts smell like vagina
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
