I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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