i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
