4 words: hood of his car
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Hippo gnu deer
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Randomize
