you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
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WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
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Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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