they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
