love makes seman taste better
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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