Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize