So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
