I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
