I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
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my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
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the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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