So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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