In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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