The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize