bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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