i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Randomize
