Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
