he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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