i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
