I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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