u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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