the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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