susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
